1st Trimester

5 weeks: 

There was one site that said I was 6, but I think it's wrong.  I think I'm 5.  I'll find out on the 30th, exactly where I am.   So, at this point, I'm still dizzy but not as bad.  I get especially dizzy and nauseous in the shower.  I dry heaved the one day.  So, I tried opening the back end of the shower curtain and keep the bathroom door open for better ventilation, and it seemed to have helped a little bit.  I am cramping off n on.  Nothing major but sometimes it's pretty sharp.  I figure as long as there isn't any bleeding accompanying it, then I'm fine.  I am not tired, other than shower time, not nauseous...not anything.  I guess that's good!  I am super bloated.  I look huge.  I'm wearing maternity clothes and had to go through my closet and clear out all the stuff that obviously does not fit me.  Joy!

5 weeks 3 days:

We went for our first u/s today and all looked good.  We officially have 1 baby brewing!!  I'm due 12.28.12.  Our next u/s is 5.8.12.  It's MH's birthday and we'll get to hear the heartbeat.  My beta #2 today was 12,299.  

No m/s or anything.  Boobs are a lil sore, still.  I am, however, having major pains.  Yes, major.  the only way I can describe it, it's the same feeling as when they clean out your cervix.  Ouch!  It wakes me up in the middle of the night, that's how painful it is.  Other than that, no more dizziness or anything.  Knock on wood!  I'm not even 6 weeks, yet, and I believe that's when all that starts to hit.  So, we shall see!

5 weeks 6 days:

I've had some unexpected spotting the last 2 days.  At first when I got it, it was red but then soon turned brown and I was scared and called the on call doc and she said to hang in there, it's fine.  The following day when I had it, cramping and back pains were associated with it and I called on call doc, again.  She called back saying that she will let the nurses know and they will call me today in the morning for an earlier ultrasound.  So, they took me at 1 today and WE SAW A HEARTBEAT!  The little bugger was at 99 BPM.  I'll go May 8th, now, for some blood work so they can tell me to start weaning off of my meds, but aside from that, I have officially graduated!  My first OB appt is 6.1.12 at 11:30 am.  WOOHOO!

7 weeks 2 days:

Happy 1st Mother's Day to me!  What a great day it has been.  I held it, as usual.  We just had a cookout, even though it was raining and we were all stuck inside.  My mom, dad, brother, his wife and my grandparents were here, as well as DH mom, dad, sister, and her 2 kids.  My grandmother got me flowers and mom got me a tons of maternity clothes and some fun stuff for the baby and a new yummy smelling candle :) I was a little bit sad that I didn't even get a card from DH mom or sister.  Not very surprised about it, though.  Oh well.  Good to know there are some people out there that care.  DH got me a body pillow and Mother's Day lottery tickets that I lost on every single one.  Overall it was a very successful and enjoyable day.  Only damper on the day is when I puked up the eggs MH made me for breakfast while in the shower.

10 weeks:

Two days ago I had my 1st OB appointment.  My OB definitely thinks I am crazy with all of the questions I had.  We heard the baby's heartbeat at 165 BPM.  It was so exciting to hear!  The look on MH face was priceless.  There may be fluid on my right kidney so I need to go for and u/s.  I was supposed to go today but I seem to be having some stomach issues so I rescheduled for Monday.  I don't even know if there us anything they can do or give me to get rid of the fluid, if that is what the problem is, but I guess I'm still gonna go to see if that's what's going on.  I've been having pain above my right hip for 8 days, now.  It mainly hurts when I stand up from a sitting position or when I sit down.  So, I guess I'll get that checked out.  

I have been feeling dizzy and nauseous.  That's been pretty consistent throughout this whole pregnancy, so far.  OB gave me zofran that dissolves on the tongue so that it kicks in faster.  I took it once yesterday and it helped.  So, I am hoping this is my lifesaver.  I gained 6 pounds, so far but I look like I'm about 6 months!  I don't get it.  Everyone is saying that's because I was really small to begin with, so we'll stick with that.  ;-) 

Yesterday I went shopping with mom.  She is way too generous.  She bought the baby a penguin pillow pet thing.  It's a penguin that zips up into an igloo.  So cute!  She also bought the baby some cutie clothes that are neutral gender.  The baby's closet already has a nice variety of clothes in it.  I can't wait to wash it all and fold up those teeny little clothes.  

My SIL gave me all of her bathtubs, doppler, swing, pack n play, etc.  A ton of stuff!  Also, mom bought me some stuff, too, like that.  It's all in my game room right now.  ALl I have to say, is this is going to be one spoiled child!  

Not too much longer til I start my 2nd tri blog :)  Happy weekend, everybody!

11 Weeks:

Yesterday I went to get my 1st ultrasound to REALLY see the baby.  How amazing!  My mom and DH were there.  Dh saw the baby for the 1st time and mom heard the heartbeat for the 1st time.  The baby waved and was practically doing backflips in there.  It's heartbeat was 155 and measuring at the perfect size.  

I do have fluid on my right kidney.  I also have 2 cysts on my right ovary and 3 cysts on my left ovary. Some of them are pretty big, too.  I don't really know how they plan on getting rid of it or what will make it go away, or if it ever will.  I'm worried that the bigger my uterus gets and the bigger I get, the more the cysts and fluid on the kidney will hurt.....cause it does hurt.  That's why I went in for the ultrasound to begin with.  Not to see the baby, but to check my ovaries and kidneys.  Soooo....hopefully my OB will call me and let me know what's up.  If not, I'll be giving him a call probably on Tuesday or something.  

I can't believe only 1 more week of 1st tri!  Eeeek!  

The Greatest Day

My beta just came back at 1275!  E2 was 514 and they said there was no need to check my progesterone. The nurse is supposed to call me back to let me know when (this week) that my ultra sound will be!

I got the call from the nurse and looks as if my ultrasound will be April 30th at 10 am.  They are going to re-check my E2 and HCG, as well.  On this date, there will not be a heartbeat detected, yet, as it'll be too early, but the week after that, the heartbeat(s) will be detected and then I am graduated from the RE :)

I have to remind myself to breathe and do one day at a time.  Because if I think of all that is to come, I won't sleep.  LOL.

I POAS

And drumroll..........  POSITIVE!  7dp3dt!  Never diss the Dollar Tree Pee Sticks.  It's faint, but it's there!

RESOLVE

I was looking online at some charity ideas for RESOLVE.  My dad is doing a golf outing for them in September but also I wanted to do something on a smaller scale.  My family has a restaurant/bar and I was thinking that we could hold a spaghetti dinner and a bake sale and a 50/50.  Maybe give some baskets away or something.  I've never held something like this so any feedback on if this is a charity overload?  Is this too much going on for one event?  Have any of you ever held a charity before?  I guess I can ask my dad exactly what he needed to do on RESOLVE's part, cause I really don't know what the first step I need to take is.  I guess maybe I need to get some brochure's off of them or something, right?  Being that it's a charity for them, I should have some info on them.  Is this right?

So...thinking of something even better....How about a BaByQ and have it at a park with a cookout?  That sounds like fun!  That's my plan, for sure!!

The Dreaded 2WW

1dp3dt

Today I woke up around 7:15.  Still a little cramped.  I took my meds and continued my bedrest.  Blah!  I read for a bit until mom came over around 9 with breakfast.  I gobbled that up fast and took the rest of my meds.  She had to leave for a bit and before I knew it, I woke up from a 2 hour nap.  We both layed in bed reading and watching junk TV.  

Today my back was still feeling really tight and mom got some knots out of my back and it's feeling much better.  I got up to pee at one point and felt a little light headed.  This happened a couple times.  The nurse called to follow-up and see how I was feeling.  I told her I am still cramped but she said to just take Tylenol XS even though I already did and it does nothing for me.  

Mom made me some lunch even though I have no appetite and my cramps are pretty constant.  I guess after I eat, I'll take my 2nd out of 3 doses of Endometrin.  Around 6:30, I took an hour nap, watched some TV, and eventually after much boredom, fell asleep for the night.  

2dp3dt

Last night I dreamt of a white bat in 2 different scenarios and what does it mean, you ask?  The loss of a family member (most likely a child).  Other possibilities could mean the loss of a limb or eye sight.  Hmmm...  I am totally freaked out.  This will probably bother me all day.  I think I would rather m/c and lose a child, rather than lose a family member, limb, or eye sight.  Is it just me?  Other than my crazy dream, my cramping seems to have gone away.  It was pretty bad yesterday.  I do have a faint headache, but I'd rather that than those awful cramps I dealt with the past 2 days.  I am so glad this is my last day of bedrest!  That means I can shower tomorrow.  Yay for cleanliness!  I can't wait to wash my hair.  

Now that it's afternoon, I am quite happy the cramps have not returned, but my headache really didn't go away and I have probably the worst heartburn I've ever had.  I think I remember Endometrin giving me heartburn the last time, too, though.  I checked my temp today.  I thought I felt a little warm.  It was 99.8  

The night time was pretty quiet and boring.  Pens lost the 1st playoff game against Philly in the playoffs and American Idol was probably the highlight of my night.  It seems like DH and mom are allowing themselves to get a little more excited.  

3dp3dt

I'm wide awake and SO ready for a shower (not too hot of water, of course) and to make my big debut of going downstairs on the couch!  Yay!  I'm so excited to not lay in this bed all day.  

Today is the day I guess I should be looking for or feeling some twinges.  I think I have already, but you all know the power of the 2ww and you can make yourself believe anything.  As of now, I'm very thankful that I don't have heartburn.  I don't have AF type cramps, but a dull ache.  Very very dull ache.  I do still have a pretty bad headache.  BB's definitely hurt.  More so in the nipple region.  And for now, that's about it.  I'll check back later in the day.  Peace.  xo

As the day goes on, my headache is worsening as well as shooting pains in my left side.  It alternates between a dull pain and a very sharp pain.  I called the RE office and they said to just take some Tylenol XS (big surprise there) and to put a heating pad on a low setting on my side.  I'm not too comfortable with the idea of doing that.  I guess I'll just have to tough it out cause the Tylenol isn't helping me.  I just hope this is for a good reason and it's all worth it in the end.

Mom ended up coming over sometime around 3 and we watched Due Date.  I have to admit, I think it's pretty funny.  This day was awful.  I had to fight with cell phone company, insurance company, and now I have to argue with the accountant about our taxes.  UGH!  I need to just go to bed and end this day ASAP!

4dp3dt

As soon as I opened my eyes, I thought shit, I still have this headache!!  And then my 2nd thought was, awesome, I'm 4 days into the wait.  I'm slowly but surely getting there.  Then my 3rd thought was, awwww...I'm all alone today.  This is my first day by myself.  I have this movie that was $1.00 called Life Without Dick.  I'm pretty sure I had it for years and never watched it.  It's with Sarah Jessica Parker, Harry Connick Jr, and Johnny Knoxville.  IDK, anyone every see it?  I guess I'm going to give that a shot.  Catch ya later!

So, the movie was super stupid and I shut it off.  I ended up talking to my grandmother who is going to come down and keep me some company, okay, and bring me lunch, too!! Bugga, my grandmother, arrived.  We are going to watch Footloose.  She never saw it.  I'm not talking about the one with Julianna Hough.  I mean the best and original one with Kevin Bacon.  Also, can I just tell you that for lunch I ate 2 Southern Chicken sandwiches and 2 apple pies from McDonalds :/  I guess I was pretty hungry and the sad thing is, is that I am ready to pull out some pretzels or something to snack on.

I'm not really feeling any sharp pains, like I was yesterday.  I definitely still have the headache but the cramps have died down majorly.  They're off and on and dull.  The exhaustion has set in.  Again, I will chalk this all up to the meds so that I don't get my hope up.  I think tonight we may go to a friends for a little bit.  It might be nice to get out of the house.  I definitely don't plan on staying late, though!  I may actually make the DH drive separately.  We'll see.  I probably will decide to just stay home....

Well, everyone.  Just got home.  I was out for about 2.5 hrs and that was way too long.  I was really uncomfortable.  Can I just tell you that my boobs are SO HOT!  I feel the heat through my shirt and they are also veiny.  I am having shooting electrical jolts in my back ( I had this before on the Endometrin) and also sharp pains are back in my abdomen.  Puh-lease let this be worth it!!!  On that note, I'm headed to bed.  Til' tmrw, y'all.  Night.

5dp3dt

I woke up this morning with no headache!!!  I am so excited.  This is the first time in 5 days I have been able to relax my forehead :) And also I POAS.  Ya, it was a BFN but that doesn't mean that I still am not going to go to the Dollar Store and buy 7 sticks for each day until my test!  LOL.  I am a little cramped but it's not as bad as it was last night. The bloating has kicked in big time!  I am full blown bloated like I was during my last cycle.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with the order of breaded zucchini and sauce and 4 pieces of pizza that I ate, either!  I've been eating like a hog.

Well, this afternoon I took a 2 hour nap that I needed cause I wasn't feeling too well.  Damn cramps and backaches.  We went to a birthday party for a 5 year old today.  Was nice to see some of my friends since I haven't been around much, lately.  We weren't there very long.  Enough to eat 2 plates of food and watch him open his presents.  Haha.  It was nice to sit and watch a movie and have DH stay awake throughout the whole thing.  That NEVER happens.  It was called Trucker.  It was actually pretty good.

Looks like I'll be up for a little bit to see if SNL will be any good and go to bed so I can wake up to being almost 1/2 way through my 2ww!      PS- AF is supposed to come tomorrow.

6dp3dt

I have a whole lot of different things going on today.   I woke up and immediately noticed the girls aren't sore, anymore.  They're a tad sensitive, but not like how they have been.  I'm pretty happy to say, they have not yet gone down in size.  Lol.  I do remember the last cycle that failed, non-sore boobs was the first thing I noticed.  That was 3 days before AF arrived.  Speaking of, that whore is supposed to show today.  We'll see if she dares to.  I still have cramps.  They're dull, but they're there.  I also woke up with diarrhea :-/  Sorry, TMI?  It seems to have gone away, which is awesome because I am going to the movies with my MIL and SIL today to see The Hunger Games then back over to SIL's house for dinner.  

The day is just about over with and still no AF.  Had some dizzy spells, again and for dinner ate 2 hot sausage sandwiches, macaroni salad, fries, and cake.  Sad this is, is that I'm not even full.  So, needless to say, I definitely have not lost my appetite at all.  I am pretty moody, I must say.  I actually spent the remainder of the night in my room and MH should consider himself very lucky.

7dp3dt

1/2 way there!  Starting to run out of Estrace and had to call in more today.  Still no sign of AF.  I have no cramps and for the most part, the girls aren't too sore.  The left one is a little more sensitive than the right.  I wonder if the cramps will come at any point today.  This is the first day I really haven't felt them.  I am heading out with mom today.  It's a beautiful day outside and I'm excited to get out the house and into the sunshine.  I have on a maxi dress which is prefect for hiding this bloating :)  It's 80 degrees out!  I love it!  I am making a point to go to the Dollar Store because I am really buying 6 HPT's.  One for each day.  LOL.  I'm not ashamed to admit I am a compulsive POAS'er!

I got home from buying my 6 HPT's and I think the check out lady thought I was a nutso.  I don't care. It was only $6.00.  Went to lunch with mom and went to pee afterwards and it smelled so bad in there, that I puked.  I was puking in my mouth and swallowing it until I was done peeing and I was able to turn around and let it out.  I'll leave that one to the chicken smelling shit at The Cracker Barrel bathroom.  Since then, I have had major pulling feelings in my uterus and as soon as I got home, I (TMI) had major diarrhea, again.  I am so hot inside of my body that I feel like I am going to pass out.  Being now 85 degrees doesn't help much.  I should have wore a shorter dress, instead of this maxi one.

So, I put one of my Dollar Tree pee sticks to use and I got a POSITIVE.  WOO HOO!  It's light, but a line is a line, right?  I have 5 more to pee on over the next week and I can't wait to see it get darker!

8dp3dt

FMU line was still just as faint.  I called the RE and she said that it is way too early to test and that it's probably a false positive.  I said I don't understand how that could be, being that I had no trigger shot. She mumbled something about implantation and said I can continue to test, if I wish but I can't go there any sooner than Monday.  I am so confused.  So, not only do I deal with wondering that, then I wonder if the 2nd line is an evaporation line.  

Stomach today is jumpy.  Had diarrhea last night and feel like that might be the case, again today.  IDK if it's so much diarrhea, but it's soft.  Sorry, TMI, I know, but that's the point of this blog...So that I can compare day to day symptoms.  I just want Monday to get here, already.  

9dp3dt

I tested today and the line is still getting darker.  I believe I am KTFU, ladies and gentlemen!  Symptoms right now: lightheadedness, dull cramping, some sharp twinges every now and then- no particular side.  It's kind of scattered.  SO HOT!  I feel like the inside of me is on fire.  I feel the heat coming out of my clothes.  It feels like I am sunburnt, like pins n needles.  My headaches have subsided but the backaches have not.  If I don't take the Tylenol XS every morning with all my other pills, then I am paying for it by late afternoon.  Maybe the Tylenol XS does more than I thought.  

I guess today I am just going to lay low.  I don't really plan on getting off of my couch at all today.  I'll watch movies and all the reality baby shows, if they aren't repeats.  Pretty tired as of right now.

Ok, so I lied.  I went to my mom's and she made me delicious bacon, eggs, and toast with OJ. YUM.  After that, we watched some TV and both ended up napping.  After about 1.5 hrs, I woke up and came home to lay on the couch.  I really am not feeling too hot as the day is going on.  I am so dizzy and lightheaded.  It's to the point where it's starting to become nauseating.  At this point right now, I am just excited for 8 pm to come so I can go upstairs with the windows open, lay in bed, and watch American Idol.

10dp3dt

Today has been a good day.  My back has been hurting me pretty bad, though.  That's really the only thing.  I am SUPER bloated.  I don't fit in pretty much anything, so today mom and I went to the mall and got some clothes that are super cute and I don't look like a stuffed pig in.  I called the nurse to see if I can get my beta moved up to tomorrow since I have had 5 positive HPT's.  I'm waiting for them to call back.  I guarantee they say no.....for a second time.  I'm hoping now it's a for sure positive they'll let me, though.  It's worth yet another shot.  

11dp3dt

So, the RE called back and said I have to wait until Monday.  Oh well, I tried.  Today I am having cramps, back pains and feeling a little tired.  This is the first day since 7dp that I didn't POAS.  I will tomorrow, though.  I mean, I have 1 more...I have to!  In December of 2011, 3 days prior to beta, AF came.  Today would be that day.  I am so thankful right now that she has not showed!!  On another note,  I tried cleaning up the spare bedroom a little bit today and cleaned out the closet.  that's enough for today.  I feel like it's Saturday.  The DH is finished power washing the deck right now and IDK if I should start to make dinner or eat some lunch.  ALl I know is that I'm ready for food, now!  

Tonight we are headed over a friends house to watch the Pens play.  Hope they win!!  :)

12dp3dt

So this blog is getting super long.  So glad that on Monday I can start a new one.  Holla!  I woke up at 6:30 this morning and peed on my last stick and the 2nd line was really dark! I hope this puppy or puppies stick!!  I feel no symptoms today, as of right now, besides the boobs being hard and sore.  GIve it a second.  I'm sure my back will be starting to hurt soon.

13dp3dt

I love how these posts are getting shorter and shorter.  LOL.  Last night the DH and I watched Moneyball.  It was actually a pretty good movie!  Kind of long, but really good.  I was in bed by about 10:30, though.  Yesterday, I had no symptoms except for the fact that I got dizzy once or twice.  Today, so far so good. Except for some mild cramping...

 DH made me an omelet and and orange yesterday for breakfast.  I have him making me another, today.  Mmmm...  At noon, we're heading to my parents to make some homemade meatballs, gnocchi's, and funfetti cupcakes.  We're gonna watch the Pens game.  GO PENS!  Hope they win! 

Well, tomorrow is my beta!!  I can't wait to hear what the # is going to be.  The only thing that sucks, is that there is supposed to be 6" of snow.  It doesn't snow ALLLLL winter and then come late April, and here it comes!  That's Pittsburgh for ya!  I feel like I have been waiting for tomorrow to come, for forever!  If I would of had a BFN, I'm sure it would have felt like I was waiting even longer.  Shoot, the last IVF cycle, I got AF 3 days before going for beta, which I knew was pointless and they made me go in, anyways...  I guess that have to, but I wasn't happy about it at all.  I'm feeling so fortunate that this time around is different.  

14dp3dt

I made it!  I made it to 14dp in one whole piece!  I could not sleep at all last night.  I woke up about 4 times throughout the night and was up n at em at 5am to get a shower.  Anyways, I'm back, now, and looks like all I can do now is wait...and maybe take a nap.  They said that I don't have to go back every other day for a beta.  The nurse said as soon as my beta hits 1,000, they will bring me back for blood work and ultrasound on the same day.  Usually within the week, she said.  WOOHOO!  Let's keep everything crossed!  

FET #1

RE suggested I do another fresh cycle this time around to try and get as many eggs as he can, while he can, but my body needs a break!  I have my ultrasound on April 6th to check my lining and April 9th, I'm hoping for some Easter eggs!!  RE will be transferring 3 lil frozen embies!!  Actually, it is NOT my RE, but another. My RE will be in surgery on April 10th (Tuesday) however, I am choosing the RE that is there on April 9th (Monday).  He got 2 of my friends pregnant and I'm so excited and hopeful that he is going to get me KU!  He is supposedly amazing.  Not that my RE isn't.  I love him to death and am not giving up on him, but I am so excited to see what this other RE can do for me.  FX!!

April 6, 2012 ~ I just got back from my u/s and they said that my #'s are at a 10 (whatever that means) and my ute looks perfect!  Monday it is!!  YYYYYAAAAYYYYYY!!

April 8, 2012 ~ Tomorrow is my FET!!  I am SO excited!  I will post how everything went.  I'm so ready for this :)

April 9, 2012 ~ I'm home from FET.  Our 3 lil embies grew!  The 2  8A's turned into a morula and a 10A.  The 8B turned into a 10B, all from a 3dt.  They let me pee due to major discomfort before going into the procedure room and even said that my bladder was still too full and I could go some more if I wanted to, but I was fine (Total repeat from lat time).  Again, I had major discomfort while they cleaned the cervix but before I knew it, the RE had transferred our 3 Easter eggs and the nurse was pointing them out onthe screen.  I was given the tubes that the embies were frozen in, to keep.  It's so cute and so exciting.  I hope tis is it so that I can put them in a baby book :)  Then, to top it all off, when I got in the car, DH surprised me with a huge stuffed animal penguin!

When we got home, my mom came over and the DH went to work for a couple hours so that he was able to get his holiday pay.  We watched a movie and chatted in bed.  Once she left and I was still sentenced to bed, I was pretty bored.  DH stayed downstairs for the most part.  He came up every now and then but the highlights of my day and night consisted of my feedings.

I was pretty tired.  it was a big day and really the only bothersome thing to me was some mild cramping.  My back was feeling pretty tight, as well, from laying in bed all day.  I'd say I fell asleep around 12:30 am.  I was pretty surprised I fell asleep that early being that I took a cat nap earlier in the day.

IVF #1

On October 1-9, my husband and I went to Punta Cana for our 1 year anniversary.  It was amazing to get away, even thought I already had 2 Laparoscopic surgeries and tape on my stomach so the scars didn't get dark.  I didn't even care!  It was just so great to get away from everything we (I) have been through the past few months.  On the 14th, only 5 days after we got back to reality, I met with the fertility specialist.  He said IVF is your only option.  After he ran all his mandatory tests and blood work, we come to find I have Advanced Menstrual Age and borderline Diminished Ovarian Reserve, MTHFR, a FSH of 23 and AMH of .52.  On November 2nd, I went to the orientation that was required.  And before I knew it, I was going in for my retrieval on December 5th.  11 eggs were retrieved and 7 made it.  4 8A's, 2 8B's, and a 6B.  I was pretty pleased.  My RE told me I had the cadillac of embryos and they were going to transfer 2 8 A's on the 7th.  On the 7th, my husband and I go to the hospital and the RE tells me they found fluid the day of the retrieval and until we get in there and set up, he didn't know if I would be cancelled or not.  We get in there and he said, it's good to go!  No fluid.

December 17th.  I had 2 Christmas parties and a birthday party to attend.  The husband and I go to the mall and I start to bleed.  Bad.  It was over.  I knew right then it had failed.  I still had to go in on the 20th for a beta and of course, there was none.  I go to my WTF appointment with RE and I tell him that I have a feeling it was from the fluid in the right tube that caused this IVF to fail.  I told him I wanted to tube out or tied and he agreed that it needed to be tied.  January 17th, 2012, 4 days before my 33rd birthday, my right (and only tube) was tied.

Gotta Start Somewhere

Hello, all!  I have never blogged before and don't quite know where to start, but I guess I gotta start somewhere.  My husband and I got married October 2, 2010.  This was the happiest most beautiful day in our lives and we couldn't wait to start our family ASAP.  After several months, in July, it happened for us! We were elated.  It was July 19th and I was 10 days late wondering if it could be.  I took a HPT and there it was written loud and clear on a stick "Pregnant."  We were so excited and told immediate family and close friends.  I started jumping the gun by looking at baby names, bigger houses, and even bought an outfit or 2.  Throughout the next 2 weeks, I was having bad cramps and mild bleeding which my Dr told me was quite normal.  She said, however, if anything worsens, to head to the hospital.  Being the paranoid new mommy-to-be that I was, I went to the ER 3x within those 2 weeks.  They even kept me overnight for observation.  I went to a couple different hospitals in the area for different opinions because the bleeding and pains were progressing.  Each Dr told me that my betas were rising and I was still pregnant and it was too early to even detect anything on the ultrasounds.  It finally set in, OMG, I really am pregnant!

I went to my Dr after telling her about my prior hospital visits and she wanted me to come in for an ultrasound.  When I went, she said that I had a blighted ovum and to schedule a D and C for the following morning.  I was uneasy about this all night.  I kept thinking what if she is wrong and all of the other Dr's are right and I'm still in the grey area and it's just too early to tell.  I cancelled the D and C.  I went to a Women's Hospital and as quickly as they put the gel on my stomach and pulled up the screen, there was my baby....In my left fallopian tube!  They knew right away it was ectopic and I was then too far along and needed Laparoscopic surgery.  The surgeon I spoke with said that I had scarring in my tube and that's what caused the ectopic and it must be from an STD.  I called BS on his part and told him I had been with the same person for 10 1/2 years before marrying my husband.  His reply was, "Well, your boyfriend cheated on you with a cheerleader who apparently was with the whole football team."  I said, then what is my mother's excuse that had an ectopic with twins?  She and my dad are high school sweethearts and have been together since she was 16.  He said, "Well, then your mother must have gotten around, as well."  Yes, this is not BS.  This is 100% true.  And this man was going to do surgery on me the following morning?  I was very uncomfortable with that! So, the next morning, I am in the operating prep room, or whatever it's called, and I told the nurses I was not comfortable with Dr doing my surgery.  She said, well, ma'am, you are going to have to tell him yourself.  So, I expressed to him that I was not comfortable with him performing my surgery and somehow he comforted me into believing everything was okay. This was July 30th.

Fast forward to August 16th, my brother's birthday and 1st day back to work, I am in extreme pain.  I mean the worst pain I have ever been in, in my entire life.  I stupidly drove myself home and I couldn't stand, I couldn't lay down, I couldn't breathe.  My mom told me to call my neighbor, who is a nurse, and I was passed out in their arms as soon as they opened the door.  I was grey, clammy, lightheaded; it was awful.  The ambulance came and said there was no blood pressure and they were having a hard time detecting my pulse.  My husband and family await me to get out of the cat scan once I arrived at the hospital, in and out of consciousness, and they say there is a mass amount of fluid in my abdomen and they weren't sure what it was, but it was rising into my lungs.  Hours later and a much better Dr, we come to find that there was 2 liters of blood in my abdomen.  The Dr that I wasn't comfortable with in July, didn't get the whole pregnancy out and my tube bled non-stop for 2 weeks into my abdomen.  I needed 2 blood transfusions, a plasma transfusion, a left tubal ligation, and was told do not ever try to conceive naturally ever again.