The Dreaded 2WW

1dp3dt

Today I woke up around 7:15.  Still a little cramped.  I took my meds and continued my bedrest.  Blah!  I read for a bit until mom came over around 9 with breakfast.  I gobbled that up fast and took the rest of my meds.  She had to leave for a bit and before I knew it, I woke up from a 2 hour nap.  We both layed in bed reading and watching junk TV.  

Today my back was still feeling really tight and mom got some knots out of my back and it's feeling much better.  I got up to pee at one point and felt a little light headed.  This happened a couple times.  The nurse called to follow-up and see how I was feeling.  I told her I am still cramped but she said to just take Tylenol XS even though I already did and it does nothing for me.  

Mom made me some lunch even though I have no appetite and my cramps are pretty constant.  I guess after I eat, I'll take my 2nd out of 3 doses of Endometrin.  Around 6:30, I took an hour nap, watched some TV, and eventually after much boredom, fell asleep for the night.  

2dp3dt

Last night I dreamt of a white bat in 2 different scenarios and what does it mean, you ask?  The loss of a family member (most likely a child).  Other possibilities could mean the loss of a limb or eye sight.  Hmmm...  I am totally freaked out.  This will probably bother me all day.  I think I would rather m/c and lose a child, rather than lose a family member, limb, or eye sight.  Is it just me?  Other than my crazy dream, my cramping seems to have gone away.  It was pretty bad yesterday.  I do have a faint headache, but I'd rather that than those awful cramps I dealt with the past 2 days.  I am so glad this is my last day of bedrest!  That means I can shower tomorrow.  Yay for cleanliness!  I can't wait to wash my hair.  

Now that it's afternoon, I am quite happy the cramps have not returned, but my headache really didn't go away and I have probably the worst heartburn I've ever had.  I think I remember Endometrin giving me heartburn the last time, too, though.  I checked my temp today.  I thought I felt a little warm.  It was 99.8  

The night time was pretty quiet and boring.  Pens lost the 1st playoff game against Philly in the playoffs and American Idol was probably the highlight of my night.  It seems like DH and mom are allowing themselves to get a little more excited.  

3dp3dt

I'm wide awake and SO ready for a shower (not too hot of water, of course) and to make my big debut of going downstairs on the couch!  Yay!  I'm so excited to not lay in this bed all day.  

Today is the day I guess I should be looking for or feeling some twinges.  I think I have already, but you all know the power of the 2ww and you can make yourself believe anything.  As of now, I'm very thankful that I don't have heartburn.  I don't have AF type cramps, but a dull ache.  Very very dull ache.  I do still have a pretty bad headache.  BB's definitely hurt.  More so in the nipple region.  And for now, that's about it.  I'll check back later in the day.  Peace.  xo

As the day goes on, my headache is worsening as well as shooting pains in my left side.  It alternates between a dull pain and a very sharp pain.  I called the RE office and they said to just take some Tylenol XS (big surprise there) and to put a heating pad on a low setting on my side.  I'm not too comfortable with the idea of doing that.  I guess I'll just have to tough it out cause the Tylenol isn't helping me.  I just hope this is for a good reason and it's all worth it in the end.

Mom ended up coming over sometime around 3 and we watched Due Date.  I have to admit, I think it's pretty funny.  This day was awful.  I had to fight with cell phone company, insurance company, and now I have to argue with the accountant about our taxes.  UGH!  I need to just go to bed and end this day ASAP!

4dp3dt

As soon as I opened my eyes, I thought shit, I still have this headache!!  And then my 2nd thought was, awesome, I'm 4 days into the wait.  I'm slowly but surely getting there.  Then my 3rd thought was, awwww...I'm all alone today.  This is my first day by myself.  I have this movie that was $1.00 called Life Without Dick.  I'm pretty sure I had it for years and never watched it.  It's with Sarah Jessica Parker, Harry Connick Jr, and Johnny Knoxville.  IDK, anyone every see it?  I guess I'm going to give that a shot.  Catch ya later!

So, the movie was super stupid and I shut it off.  I ended up talking to my grandmother who is going to come down and keep me some company, okay, and bring me lunch, too!! Bugga, my grandmother, arrived.  We are going to watch Footloose.  She never saw it.  I'm not talking about the one with Julianna Hough.  I mean the best and original one with Kevin Bacon.  Also, can I just tell you that for lunch I ate 2 Southern Chicken sandwiches and 2 apple pies from McDonalds :/  I guess I was pretty hungry and the sad thing is, is that I am ready to pull out some pretzels or something to snack on.

I'm not really feeling any sharp pains, like I was yesterday.  I definitely still have the headache but the cramps have died down majorly.  They're off and on and dull.  The exhaustion has set in.  Again, I will chalk this all up to the meds so that I don't get my hope up.  I think tonight we may go to a friends for a little bit.  It might be nice to get out of the house.  I definitely don't plan on staying late, though!  I may actually make the DH drive separately.  We'll see.  I probably will decide to just stay home....

Well, everyone.  Just got home.  I was out for about 2.5 hrs and that was way too long.  I was really uncomfortable.  Can I just tell you that my boobs are SO HOT!  I feel the heat through my shirt and they are also veiny.  I am having shooting electrical jolts in my back ( I had this before on the Endometrin) and also sharp pains are back in my abdomen.  Puh-lease let this be worth it!!!  On that note, I'm headed to bed.  Til' tmrw, y'all.  Night.

5dp3dt

I woke up this morning with no headache!!!  I am so excited.  This is the first time in 5 days I have been able to relax my forehead :) And also I POAS.  Ya, it was a BFN but that doesn't mean that I still am not going to go to the Dollar Store and buy 7 sticks for each day until my test!  LOL.  I am a little cramped but it's not as bad as it was last night. The bloating has kicked in big time!  I am full blown bloated like I was during my last cycle.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with the order of breaded zucchini and sauce and 4 pieces of pizza that I ate, either!  I've been eating like a hog.

Well, this afternoon I took a 2 hour nap that I needed cause I wasn't feeling too well.  Damn cramps and backaches.  We went to a birthday party for a 5 year old today.  Was nice to see some of my friends since I haven't been around much, lately.  We weren't there very long.  Enough to eat 2 plates of food and watch him open his presents.  Haha.  It was nice to sit and watch a movie and have DH stay awake throughout the whole thing.  That NEVER happens.  It was called Trucker.  It was actually pretty good.

Looks like I'll be up for a little bit to see if SNL will be any good and go to bed so I can wake up to being almost 1/2 way through my 2ww!      PS- AF is supposed to come tomorrow.

6dp3dt

I have a whole lot of different things going on today.   I woke up and immediately noticed the girls aren't sore, anymore.  They're a tad sensitive, but not like how they have been.  I'm pretty happy to say, they have not yet gone down in size.  Lol.  I do remember the last cycle that failed, non-sore boobs was the first thing I noticed.  That was 3 days before AF arrived.  Speaking of, that whore is supposed to show today.  We'll see if she dares to.  I still have cramps.  They're dull, but they're there.  I also woke up with diarrhea :-/  Sorry, TMI?  It seems to have gone away, which is awesome because I am going to the movies with my MIL and SIL today to see The Hunger Games then back over to SIL's house for dinner.  

The day is just about over with and still no AF.  Had some dizzy spells, again and for dinner ate 2 hot sausage sandwiches, macaroni salad, fries, and cake.  Sad this is, is that I'm not even full.  So, needless to say, I definitely have not lost my appetite at all.  I am pretty moody, I must say.  I actually spent the remainder of the night in my room and MH should consider himself very lucky.

7dp3dt

1/2 way there!  Starting to run out of Estrace and had to call in more today.  Still no sign of AF.  I have no cramps and for the most part, the girls aren't too sore.  The left one is a little more sensitive than the right.  I wonder if the cramps will come at any point today.  This is the first day I really haven't felt them.  I am heading out with mom today.  It's a beautiful day outside and I'm excited to get out the house and into the sunshine.  I have on a maxi dress which is prefect for hiding this bloating :)  It's 80 degrees out!  I love it!  I am making a point to go to the Dollar Store because I am really buying 6 HPT's.  One for each day.  LOL.  I'm not ashamed to admit I am a compulsive POAS'er!

I got home from buying my 6 HPT's and I think the check out lady thought I was a nutso.  I don't care. It was only $6.00.  Went to lunch with mom and went to pee afterwards and it smelled so bad in there, that I puked.  I was puking in my mouth and swallowing it until I was done peeing and I was able to turn around and let it out.  I'll leave that one to the chicken smelling shit at The Cracker Barrel bathroom.  Since then, I have had major pulling feelings in my uterus and as soon as I got home, I (TMI) had major diarrhea, again.  I am so hot inside of my body that I feel like I am going to pass out.  Being now 85 degrees doesn't help much.  I should have wore a shorter dress, instead of this maxi one.

So, I put one of my Dollar Tree pee sticks to use and I got a POSITIVE.  WOO HOO!  It's light, but a line is a line, right?  I have 5 more to pee on over the next week and I can't wait to see it get darker!

8dp3dt

FMU line was still just as faint.  I called the RE and she said that it is way too early to test and that it's probably a false positive.  I said I don't understand how that could be, being that I had no trigger shot. She mumbled something about implantation and said I can continue to test, if I wish but I can't go there any sooner than Monday.  I am so confused.  So, not only do I deal with wondering that, then I wonder if the 2nd line is an evaporation line.  

Stomach today is jumpy.  Had diarrhea last night and feel like that might be the case, again today.  IDK if it's so much diarrhea, but it's soft.  Sorry, TMI, I know, but that's the point of this blog...So that I can compare day to day symptoms.  I just want Monday to get here, already.  

9dp3dt

I tested today and the line is still getting darker.  I believe I am KTFU, ladies and gentlemen!  Symptoms right now: lightheadedness, dull cramping, some sharp twinges every now and then- no particular side.  It's kind of scattered.  SO HOT!  I feel like the inside of me is on fire.  I feel the heat coming out of my clothes.  It feels like I am sunburnt, like pins n needles.  My headaches have subsided but the backaches have not.  If I don't take the Tylenol XS every morning with all my other pills, then I am paying for it by late afternoon.  Maybe the Tylenol XS does more than I thought.  

I guess today I am just going to lay low.  I don't really plan on getting off of my couch at all today.  I'll watch movies and all the reality baby shows, if they aren't repeats.  Pretty tired as of right now.

Ok, so I lied.  I went to my mom's and she made me delicious bacon, eggs, and toast with OJ. YUM.  After that, we watched some TV and both ended up napping.  After about 1.5 hrs, I woke up and came home to lay on the couch.  I really am not feeling too hot as the day is going on.  I am so dizzy and lightheaded.  It's to the point where it's starting to become nauseating.  At this point right now, I am just excited for 8 pm to come so I can go upstairs with the windows open, lay in bed, and watch American Idol.

10dp3dt

Today has been a good day.  My back has been hurting me pretty bad, though.  That's really the only thing.  I am SUPER bloated.  I don't fit in pretty much anything, so today mom and I went to the mall and got some clothes that are super cute and I don't look like a stuffed pig in.  I called the nurse to see if I can get my beta moved up to tomorrow since I have had 5 positive HPT's.  I'm waiting for them to call back.  I guarantee they say no.....for a second time.  I'm hoping now it's a for sure positive they'll let me, though.  It's worth yet another shot.  

11dp3dt

So, the RE called back and said I have to wait until Monday.  Oh well, I tried.  Today I am having cramps, back pains and feeling a little tired.  This is the first day since 7dp that I didn't POAS.  I will tomorrow, though.  I mean, I have 1 more...I have to!  In December of 2011, 3 days prior to beta, AF came.  Today would be that day.  I am so thankful right now that she has not showed!!  On another note,  I tried cleaning up the spare bedroom a little bit today and cleaned out the closet.  that's enough for today.  I feel like it's Saturday.  The DH is finished power washing the deck right now and IDK if I should start to make dinner or eat some lunch.  ALl I know is that I'm ready for food, now!  

Tonight we are headed over a friends house to watch the Pens play.  Hope they win!!  :)

12dp3dt

So this blog is getting super long.  So glad that on Monday I can start a new one.  Holla!  I woke up at 6:30 this morning and peed on my last stick and the 2nd line was really dark! I hope this puppy or puppies stick!!  I feel no symptoms today, as of right now, besides the boobs being hard and sore.  GIve it a second.  I'm sure my back will be starting to hurt soon.

13dp3dt

I love how these posts are getting shorter and shorter.  LOL.  Last night the DH and I watched Moneyball.  It was actually a pretty good movie!  Kind of long, but really good.  I was in bed by about 10:30, though.  Yesterday, I had no symptoms except for the fact that I got dizzy once or twice.  Today, so far so good. Except for some mild cramping...

 DH made me an omelet and and orange yesterday for breakfast.  I have him making me another, today.  Mmmm...  At noon, we're heading to my parents to make some homemade meatballs, gnocchi's, and funfetti cupcakes.  We're gonna watch the Pens game.  GO PENS!  Hope they win! 

Well, tomorrow is my beta!!  I can't wait to hear what the # is going to be.  The only thing that sucks, is that there is supposed to be 6" of snow.  It doesn't snow ALLLLL winter and then come late April, and here it comes!  That's Pittsburgh for ya!  I feel like I have been waiting for tomorrow to come, for forever!  If I would of had a BFN, I'm sure it would have felt like I was waiting even longer.  Shoot, the last IVF cycle, I got AF 3 days before going for beta, which I knew was pointless and they made me go in, anyways...  I guess that have to, but I wasn't happy about it at all.  I'm feeling so fortunate that this time around is different.  

14dp3dt

I made it!  I made it to 14dp in one whole piece!  I could not sleep at all last night.  I woke up about 4 times throughout the night and was up n at em at 5am to get a shower.  Anyways, I'm back, now, and looks like all I can do now is wait...and maybe take a nap.  They said that I don't have to go back every other day for a beta.  The nurse said as soon as my beta hits 1,000, they will bring me back for blood work and ultrasound on the same day.  Usually within the week, she said.  WOOHOO!  Let's keep everything crossed!